The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, gratitude, and togetherness, a magical Hallmark movie brought to life, where the table is perfectly set, the food is flawless, and everyone is smiling ear-to-ear, basking in gratitude. But let’s be real: life isn’t a Hallmark movie (as much as I love them), and holidays can often look more like controlled chaos.
For me, the holiday season has shifted away from perfection and traditions and leaned heavily into simplicity and sanity. Here’s why we’ve opted to spend some holidays, like Thanksgiving and Noche Buena (our big celebration as a Hispanic family), dining out instead of hosting.
1. Shared Holidays and Missing Family
Every other year, our family feels incomplete. Our boys spend the holiday with their other parent, which is important for them, but let me be honest, it’s hard. The empty seats at the table are a glaring reminder of their absence, and the idea of throwing a big celebration at home without them just feels heavy.
Dining out helps soften that ache. It removes the pressure of putting together a Pinterest-perfect holiday at home, only to feel the void of missing two very important people.
2. Hosting = Stress (and I Am Not Martha Stewart)
Yes, I’ve hosted in the past. Yes, I can cook (and pretty darn well, I might add). But do I enjoy it? Absolutely not. I’m someone who gets called “extra,” and while I’ll proudly own that title most days, it also means I put a ton of pressure on myself to make everything perfect.
Spoiler alert: it’s exhausting.
Add to that my love-hate relationship with cooking, and, well… let’s just say I am no Martha Stewart. So, if hosting means I’ll be stressed, frazzled, and too tired to enjoy the holiday? No thanks.
3. Introvert-Extrovert Problems
Here’s the thing: I’m an extrovert… except when I’m not.
If I wake up in introvert mode on a holiday I’m hosting, I immediately regret inviting people over. Family gatherings can be draining, and sometimes I’d rather crawl back into bed, bury myself under the covers, and emerge when it’s all over.
Dining out lets me skip the emotional rollercoaster of hosting. I can enjoy the meal, appreciate the company (in small doses), and head home to recharge in peace.
Why Dining Out Works for Us
By choosing to dine out on holidays, I’ve eliminated a lot of the stress and pressure that used to come with the season.
* If the boys aren’t with us, it still stings, but it doesn’t feel as overwhelming.
* I don’t have to deep-clean the house, plan a massive meal, or feel like a failure because my turkey didn’t look like it belonged on a magazine cover.
* And best of all, when the meal is over, I can go home to the quiet and just be.Some years, other family members join us at the restaurant. Other years, it’s just us—and honestly, both are great options depending on how I feel.
Letting Go of Holiday Perfection
As the years have passed, I’ve realized that I care less about traditions and more about creating a holiday season that feels good to me. I don’t want to host because it’s “what’s expected” or because it’s how things were always done in my family.
Instead, I want freedom: the freedom to break routines, try new things, and let go of the weight of “tradition.” If that means skipping the stress, ignoring what others might think, and redefining what the holidays look like for me and my family, so be it.
A Holiday Reminder
This year, or next, or the one after that, take a holiday season for yourself. Forget tradition, ignore expectations, and let go of trying to make everyone else happy.
And while you’re giving thanks, don’t forget to be grateful for yourself. You deserve joy, peace, and a holiday that feels like yours.
Happy Thanksgiving, and here’s to a season of choosing what works for you.
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