Is Normal Communication Even Possible? Navigating Co-Parenting with a Narcissistic Ex
This week’s Co-Parenting Madness takes a detour into the Twilight Zone: moments of unexpected, almost-normal communication with your toxic ex. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? That email exchange that reads surprisingly calm and reasonable, leaving you with a fleeting glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, they’ve turned a corner? Maybe the new year brought a resolution to stop being…well, a shitty person.
But then, as usual, the passive-aggressive emails start popping up in your inbox. And you are like, there it is. I knew it wouldn’t take long. The toxicity you’ve grown accustomed to resurfaces, spewing in all its ridiculous glory. It’s enough to make you wonder:
- Is the peace ever genuine, or just a temporary blip on their negativity radar? Do they genuinely try to improve, only to have the festering toxicity erupt when left unchecked?
- Do they ever tire of their shit? Or are they so delusionally self-absorbed that everyone else truly is the problem? Do they spend their days scheming up ways to make something out of nothing?
- What drives this bottomless well of negativity? Are they unloved, unoccupied, desperately needing a hobby and a good pottery class? What essential piece is missing from their lives that fuels this relentless need to drag everyone down?
It’s easy to get caught up in the “why”: Why can’t they just be normal? Why does their bitterness seep into everything they touch? But the truth is, their internal chaos isn’t ours to solve. Focusing on their shortcomings only keeps us entangled in their web.
Instead, let’s shift our mindset. We may not control their actions, but we control our own. We can:
- Set and enforce firm boundaries. Limit communication, prioritize parallel parenting where possible, and prioritize your well-being and your children’s.
- Focus on healthy co-parenting strategies. Stick to factual communication, avoid emotional triggers, and put your children’s needs first, always.
- Seek support. There’s a whole community of co-parents navigating similar struggles. Lean on them, share your experiences, and remind yourself you’re not alone.
- Journal your way to clarity. Dive into the introspective world of journaling to untangle the knots of frustration and confusion. Explore your emotions, identify patterns in your ex’s behavior, and focus on what you can control in this situation. Use this space to strategize, vent, and celebrate your victories, big or small.
- Start meditating. When emotions run high, carve out space for yourself. Unwind with meditation, letting go of any negativity clinging to you. This quiet strength helps you face each interaction with clarity and grace, ensuring your well-being remains your north star. Remember, your peace is a gift to yourself and your children, even amidst co-parenting challenges.
By incorporating these strategies into your co-parenting journey, you’ll shift your focus from your ex’s negativity to your own well-being and the positive influence you can have on your children’s lives. You are not a hostage to their toxicity. You are a resilient co-parent, and you have the tools and support to navigate this journey with strength and grace.
Remember, their bitterness may be on full display, but it doesn’t define you. Rise above the drama, prioritize your sanity, and keep creating a healthy, positive environment for yourself and your children. Theirs is a shadow you walk away from, not one you carry.
For those looking to journal I have some of the cutest journals in the blog shop and also on my Etsy store, let me know what you think.
Stay strong, co-parents. We’ve got this!
Leave a Reply